“At every moment of your life, you are either a host to God, or a hostage to your ego, it’s your call.” Quotes Dr. Wayne Dyer
What is Dr. Dyer saying here?
When you are feeling love, trust, appreciation, peace, contentment, joy, protected, powerful, excited, connected, flowing, relaxed, you are living from Spirit.
When you are feeling anxious, tired, angry, upset, superior, lonely, put upon, sad, depressed, worried, scared, you are living from ego.
Once a thought creates a feeling in your mind, many like or similar feelings are summoned by the incredible computer called your brain. Left unchecked, you start to feel as though you are spiraling up or down depending on the thoughts you are having and the corresponding feelings associated with those thoughts.
The Secret of Thought
Here’s the formula: Your thoughts create your feelings which lead to attraction and actions.
Even doing nothing is an action. Your day to day actions will change your life, for better or worse, based upon the Compound Effect. Simple, yes? Ahh, this is where the ego comes in to play.
You see your mind operates very much the same way as a computer. When you have a thought or someone suggest an idea to you, your brain goes to work scanning past files in your mind for those feelings created by the thought you are now having. These files are your accepted beliefs and are entirely unique to you. Another person could have the same exact thought but an entirely different feeling towards it.
These are usually learned at an early age in life or learned through an experience, sometimes a traumatic impression, that as a result, you accepted this belief to be TRUE. It may or not be TRUE but it is in YOUR mind. All of this takes place in nanoseconds and you suddenly you are able to express your thoughts as they relate to the subject at hand.
The amazing thing is that your thoughts NEVER stop. You see the average person has 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. This breaks down into roughly 35 to 48 thoughts every minute. Obviously, you are not the slightest bit aware of most of these but they are happening. Most people go through their day with one thought leading to the next as influenced by your immediate surroundings. If you do not become aware of your thoughts, they will just loop on and on taking you down many paths of possible feelings associated with each thought. This is why most people “sleep walk” their way through life. The only thoughts we can have any control over are the dominant ones.
Here’s the good part, your feelings of happiness or sadness can be brought on by you focusing on a particular thought. Think about the last time a favorite pet passed. Now think about your first kiss. How about the day your child was born. Thus, change your thoughts, change your feelings, change your life. For most people, you really are in control unless altered by external inputs like drugs or alcohol.
You have the ability to perceive things happening around you in any way you choose. So your job is to make everyday a positive thought day.
Create a String of Positive Thought Days
So how do you stay positive around negative people? Be aware. Negative people put off negative energy. When in the presence of someone bent on being negative, simply notice, “how am I feeling right now?” Don’t go down their spiral. It’s always your choice. Happiness is an inside job! So are sadness, joy, anticipation, relief, and calmness.
You cannot lead a positive life with a negative mind so a happy fulfilling life will require some assembly. Your own ability to “check in” with yourself holds the key to unlock your future. Your future is ALWAYS being created in the present moment. It never stops because your thoughts never stop. So as you think, you become.
Random thoughts will lead to, you guessed it, a random life where you feel you have no control. This is what your ego wants you to believe, that you are a victim of circumstance. If you can have a thought and emotionally FEEL the feelings being created by that thought, particularly when resting or just before sleep, you can alter the course of your future.
You see, it’s the FEELING created by your thoughts that are programmed in your subconscious mind. These impressions create your internal TRUTHS. Your power to change these lies in your IMAGINATION. A well-known author, Neville Goddard, speaks about the IMAGINATION being your friend to create whatever you want in life. If this is true, and I assure you it is, then can you imagine what can be planted in your subconscious by using modern science and virtual reality devices?
You see, your mind thinks in pictures NOT words. Your words create a picture that leads to your feelings. These concepts are certainly not new but they are mostly forgotten. They have been taught for thousands of years throughout the world by many different religions and scholars.
Who do you hang out with?
Business philosopher Jim Rohn taught me that, “You become the sum total of the the 5 people with whom you spend the most time.” Who do you hang around with the most? Are they supportive? Do they share your vision or are they negative and sarcastic? Do you feel drained when you are with them? Do you feel empowered? These feelings are important to note and become VERY aware of as these 5 people become major influences in your life. When I drank and drugged, who do you think I hung out with? When you make a major shift and change in life, you sometime have to let go of certain acquaintances.
This whole process begins to happen naturally through the Power of Attraction. As you change, people around you change to meet your new vibrations. Others will slowly drift away as they no longer feel that connection to you that you once shared. This happens often in families where substance abuse is a part of the culture. As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, the attraction factor, although still there as you are related by birth, becomes more strained as you realize you don’t have as much in common anymore. This doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t come back as other members mature.
How to Create Happiness in your Life
So one of the biggest keys to create happiness in your life is to take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and actions. This includes your fears. You own them! They are all yours! You actually created them!
Did you know that recent studies show that only 1 out of 3 people feel they are truly happy today.
Happiness is free and it’s a choice! Don’t fall into the trap of saying, “I’ll be happy when ……..”
When I retire. When I lose weight. When I make more money. When the planets line up correctly.
I think you get my point. What if “when” never comes?
Many people are concerned about the course of modern society and the constant stream of negative events happening around the world. Personally, with the knowledge that we think in pictures, it stands to reason that with the barrage of mass media reports of everything bad happening around our world, coupled with Hollywood’s #1 theme of violence in the main stream of movies and entertainment, I believe it’s no wonder that there is a dramatic increase in depression and anxiety in our society today.
People are developing a sense of hopelessness as they accept these IMAGES to be the truth of their universe. The important issue here, is that you ALWAYS have a choice as to what you cast your gaze upon. Do you feel happier watching your child sleep or are you more excited to see all of the violence in the news.
The world is not crumbling before your eyes. If you were to see the world for all the good going on instead of the bad, you would see that the ratio of good is 99 to 1 of the bad. But that’s not what sells advertising. What we are exposed to is quite simply the money feeding into the hands of corporations from advertising dollars that pay large sums to put their brand on nightly TV during the news.
Why this all works so well is explained by a recent article in Psychology Today by leading author Ray Williams entitled, “Why We Love Bad News More Than Good News.” We naturally look for the bad because we actually get a jolt to our systems from stress hormones.
Ray Williams explains:
Media studies show that bad news far outweighs good news by as much as seventeen negative news reports for every one good news report. Why? The answer may lie in the work of evolutionary psychologists and neuroscientists. Humans seek out news of dramatic, negative events. These experts say that our brains evolved in a hunter-gatherer environment where anything novel or dramatic had to be attended to immediately for survival. So while we no longer defend ourselves against saber-toothed tigers, our brains have not caught up.
Many studies have shown that we care more about the threat of bad things than we do about the prospect of good things. Our negative brain tripwires are far more sensitive than our positive triggers. We tend to get more fearful than happy. And each time we experience fear we turn on our stress hormones.
So how does all of this tie into what we were addressing? If you read my About Me page, you will see that in the past I had my share of deriving escape through the use of drugs and alcohol for many years. I believe that getting that jolt to your system through the stress hormones can be just as addictive as the drugs and alcohol I used for years but far more insidious. It’s freely available and can easily be justified by your “right to be informed.”
Justification was my major reason for staying under the influence for all those years. In Alcoholic Anonymous, they called it “living in your Pity Party”. Here was my thought process back then: “Well since the world sucks, I might as well get wasted.” It becomes an endless loop of justification to inebriation. You can ALWAYS find a reason to do the things you do, either good or bad. Jimmy Buffet has a great line in a song that says, “A permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.” If YOU believe it to be your TRUTH, your action, based on that truth, will create circumstances and draw events into your life to match your truths.
So for today, just for today, be aware of what you are watching, hearing, and what is attracting most of your attention. Remember that at any moment you can simply turn it off.
Find some inspirational messages. Read a good book. Be choosy on the type of films you watch. Go play a game with your children or take a walk through nature. Choose, choose, choose.
Peace is always available to you even if just for a moment.
The trick is to develop new habits that make you feel happy. Habits are great because they are effortless. You just do them without thinking or planning. What habits do you have now. Do they support your feelings of joy or distress? This is the problem with habits, they can be good or bad.
How long does it take to break a bad habit?
There are many theories out there that it takes from 21 days to 66 days to break a habit. My thought is to replace the bad with the good until the bad is all but forgotten.
Smiling, laughing, and sharing fun times with family or friends. These are the free gifts in life. Whatever your day brings, you have the ability to approach it with joy and peace of mind. Be a responder to life, not a reactor to life! Own it! It’s the only life you get!
Isn’t it more important to learn how to be happy in life than to live it in a constant pity party?
Feelings of gratefulness is one of the easiest ways to bring good thoughts to your consciousness. It also is one of the biggest keys to attract things, people, and events into your life. There is a separate page devoted just to this subject because it is so incredibly important.
Develop the GRATEFUL HABIT!
My wife and I read a passage every morning that simply states, At every event, just say: “This is here only to bless me. WOW!!! How powerful are those words.
If you could really spend your day feeling a constant state of “being blessed” what kind of days would you fashion for yourself. People will naturally be attracted to you in a positive way. Doors that were closed to you before will magically open. Things you could not even imagine will show up effortlessly in your world!
Truly feeling GRATEFUL is the easiest way to change your feelings about anything in an instant.
By contrast feeling UNGRATEFUL is the fastest way to lose what you have now.
Let’s say you read, watch, or hear about something bad that happened in the world. You suddenly feel powerless, scared, depressed, any number of emotions could be triggered. It is imperative that you mentally step away from that situation as quickly as possible and neutralize that feeling. Once you’ve neutralized it, replace it with good feelings.
The quickest way to go about this is to feel grateful for the people, situation, and things in your life.
Ask yourself a few questions:
- Do I have a place to live?
- Do I have a good relationship?
- Do I have friends?
- Do I have food to eat?
- Do I have a car?
- Money in the bank?
- Is my health good?
- Do I have a hobby I enjoy?
- Do I have cloths on my back?
If you have a positive response to any of the above you are ahead of most of the world! Be grateful!
Why are some people lucky?
When you see someone who appears lucky, you are usually seeing the results of small incremental steps that this person took over a course of time. Each of these steps originated with a thought.
Whatever you do, don’t fall into ego’s trap of comparing yourself to others. No one has it great all the time despite what you see on Facebook and the long written Christmas letters.
Remember that every thought creates a feeling and this feeling will manifest itself in some way. Disease, sickness, injuries are all brought on first by a mental state. Staying in the ‘grace of gratefulness’ is the counterbalance and easiest way to quickly move out of these unwanted feelings.
Being “lucky” is simply the result of feeling grateful for an end result, before the actual physical end result.
By just saying “Thank you” over and over and over you can change your emotional state to enhance more positive feelings.
On a recent night I awoke from a dream that left me with a feeling of panic. There was nothing in reality to make me feel so panicked yet there I was, unable to continue with my sleep. When this occurs, my mind usually starts to ponder things I can’t control or lack the information I need to come up with a solution. As soon as I recognized what was happening I immediately started my “Thank You” mantra. Within a few short minutes, I calmed myself to the point of being able to return to a restful sleep.
Why not try it! Let me know what a difference this makes for you.
I’am grateful for you reading these words at this moment as it means you are searching for help in some aspect of your life and you are willing to take the action to make a change.
Many people go through life trapped by their own ego based thinking when the answer is within them the entire time!
The easiest way to develop a lasting grateful attitude towards life is to create a Gratitude Journal.
How to regain trust in a relationship?
The cornerstone of ANY relationship, be it personal, business, sexual, or friendship, is trust.
We all carry scorecards with us, whether we want to admit it or not, that develop the more involved we become with a person. It’s all about how the other person makes you feel during and especially after any mutual experience you have with that person.
Rebuilding a trust relationship can take years and even then once rebuilt, like rippled paper, it usually is never quite the same again. Therefore, trust is a very fragile part of any relationship and should be honored with care and devotion.
To rebuild trust requires you to maintain honesty with yourself and the other person at all times. This is a true test of your integrity.
Remember that what you think, say, or do in private, always shows up in public. Your integrity is demonstrated by your honesty. This begins the process of the trust that others place in you.
This concept is very difficult for some personalities who tend to be self-centered or narcissistic. Ironically, these people tend to have the most difficulty keeping trust just because of their self involved nature. They are usually unaware that they may be hurting someone’s else’s feelings because, after all, the world revolves around them.
Having family members who are narcissist can be very taxing and require great patience. Because you love them you will tend to be the most forgiving because you also are aware that they truly can’t comprehend why you don’t realize they walk on water.
So the process to build, maintain, and regain trust all starts with you. If you value this person’s friendship and company, you will be less likely to “cross the line” that endangers your future relationship. The first step is to become aware of your own honesty in dealing with your self.
Like everything else in this site, Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions create your world and a big part of that world is the relationships you build with others. The only way to create peace in your own life is through a hard, good look in the mirror at yourself. When you exhibit faith in yourself, others will exhibit faith in you.
a very interesting article, and of course very useful. I like the part about why we prefer to read bad news rather than good news – i don’t have a tv mostly avoid watching news but there is much truth in what is said.
And your own life experiences make the article that much more interesting… i think we all like to have a pity party now and then, but it is the realisation that we are doing this which makes the difference. Because then we can choose to think different thoughts and create a different reality
All the best
Thanks for your comments Vee-you are right not to bother with the TV, it is really a carefully crafted marketing tool brought right into our homes to create advertising dollars for the networks. Everything is a “choice”. Becoming aware is the key to change. Have your Best Day Ever! Don
That is one of the keys to success, and that is your thoughts, a person cannot change their life until they change the way that they think. Success all begins in the mind or as the saying goes it is the mind that makes the man, it is all lays with how we think because thoughts produces action whether good or bad so if we can see it in our minds and believe that we can be successful then we will.
Thanks for your comments Norman-A most famous business philosopher, Jim Rohn was known for his quote: “For things to change, you need to change. For things to get better, you need to get better.” It all begins with you and your own beliefs.
Have your Best Day Ever! Don
Hi Don, I enjoyed reading your post. So many true things and so much information to digest. I wasn’t aware that our brain thinks in pictures. I like your idea of creating a string of positive thoughts each day.
I don’t like watching the news at all and try to stay away from as many negative influences as much as possible. Now and again I feel a bit down and find it hard to stay positive. But there is always a choice and as you suggested it is important to think of positive events and remember the feelings that came with it.
Thanks so much for sharing!
All the best from Anke
I’m glad you got some inspiration. I’ve learned these things from some great mentors. Whenever you are feeling down or discoraged about anything, try to remember a passage my wife and I read every morning, “At every event just say, this is here only to bless me!” Have your Best Day Ever! Don
This post has some very insightful material and it is also credible due to the testimony offered. Not everyone can attest to the same. I agree with gratitude because it is always helpful to creating a future, only how we do it varies from person to person.
My though process has never worked on convincing myself that I will achieve things unfortunately. I know that this process has worked for some. Though I could say that how I go about my though process works similarly in that when I get a good thought I work on that.
Negativity will always be there and as you suggest there are ways to focus our thoughts on we face them! There is a lot someone can learn from this.
Thanks for you comments Jose.
When you says that your thought process has not worked on convincing yourself that you will achieve things, my answer is, you really don’t have a choice:) Your thought are ALWAYS creating. It never stops. If you, however, FEEL that you can’t achieve things through your thoughts, you are correct because that very feeling is what you are creating. When you CHOOSE to change your thoughts by using your imagination of a different outcome and live, walk and breath in that belief, your physical outcome will eventually change to reflect your new image of yourself. You must think FROM the new you not think ABOUT the new you.
We all make our choices then our choices make us. At every single moment you are making new decisions (choices). ALL of your current realizations have been based on all of your past decisions no matter how small and inconsequential you may feel they are. Most people sleep walk their way through life. Only through vigilant awareness and making good choices can you change your future outcome.
Have your Best Day Ever-Don
Thank you for the reminders. It is a truth…your mind creates your world in just the way you said. Your thoughts affect how you move in the world. Your moves have effects and consequences and attract situations that you have to deal with. And it all goes around and around.
Anything you choose to ignore or hide from on the inside of you appears on the outside of you as “fate.”
Seems to me this is a learning planet and us humans are all students. All of us sure have a lot of lessons to learn.
Thanks so much for your comments Netta!
You’re right on! No one hides their thoughts for long because once they accept these thoughts as their truth, their world reflects this as their reality. We are but a shadow of our own beliefs. Awareness is the key but many times the thoughts that are the most prevalent can be the hardest to see for oneself.
These thoughts will come out to others as a “feeling”. For example, go into a room of happy people and notice how your feeling change. When something tragic happens, even if you are clueless, you know something is up right away. It’s like alarm bells go off. This is when you must be centered in your thoughts to stay in awareness for it’s easy to be pulled in other’s directions.
Thanks again for writing-Have your Best Day Ever!